North Korea, Best Korea!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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