Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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