I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
where are my eyebrows?
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