Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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