and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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