I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize