I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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