so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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