His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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