mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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