did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
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I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
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if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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