She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize