ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
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you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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