Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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