We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I forget how to act sober
Randomize