dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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