Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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