I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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