yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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