worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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