I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My bed smells like the plague
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