its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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