First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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