is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize