My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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