she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize