i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
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See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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