You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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