Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize