Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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