my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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