Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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