My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize