id be glad to
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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