if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize