i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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