and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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