Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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