I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
MIDGETS
????
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize