meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
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