I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
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I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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