Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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