I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize