p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize