The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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