I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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