Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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