wanna go halves on a baby?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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