well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my being single is dangerous.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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