he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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